• Naheed Hanif

I’m Coming Out

I met with a very old friend yesterday.  It was an awesome catch-up!  We reminisced (if that is what we can call it) about the past times, the cultural and family obligations and double lives our generation has led.

We spoke about the things we would never have disclosed previously and the secrecy or the hush hush attitude towards things that are shameful, destroying and illegal in religious terms.  Much of this is about the extreme restrictions placed on us (the kids of our generation), the cruelty suffered at the hands of the men in the family and extended family that we could not do much about.  Is it any wonder that most individuals of our generation were living two or more lives?

The fact that we one day start living our own lives…(although for some it takes a lot longer than others to do this but generally, we get there) – “it’s like coming out of the closet”.

What a perfect description!

Of course!  Because it is such a relief to be who you really are, and yet so painful at the same time.  You lose loved ones in the process of learning to love yourself.  You gain new friends not knowing who you can really trust – you don’t know them well after all.

Many people struggle with the concept of “who they really are” and then break away to explore or simply “come out”.  In our case, or at least in my case, it has taken many many years to stand up for myself and only now, at age 43 am I able to say “No, I will not do as you say just because you say so”. 

Either way, I managed it.  However, it is only now that the emotional blackmail from family members finally reached its limit and… I am finally free. 

Just wish I had managed that sooner in life.

Can it really be compared to coming out?  I guess I would not know but it sure was a fantastic description.  What do you say?

#community #Women #Selfesteem #Men #Religion #obligations #Family #Emotion #Muslim #life


©2020 by Naheed Hanif.